Father’s love

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Life as a Father of Seven Children…

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

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When I tell people I have seven children there are two phrases that always follow (one a statement and the other a question):

“Wow…that’s a big family!”

“Are they all yours?”

Well…it doesn’t seem like a big family. In fact when even just one of the children are off doing something else…there is an awkward gap in the house. Things seem incredibly quiet and it feels like we are not whole. It may sound strange to many of you…but when I am away from them…I don’t like it…not even for a day.

Sure it is nice to have some alone time to get things done. I use as much of that time that I can. But, there is a major part of my being that is tied up into the other eight people in our family that I have a developed tendency towards being a bit heavy hearted when I am away.

Oh, before I continue…yes they are all my wife’s and mine. Yes she actually gave birth to all of them!

So, the long and short of it is that I have never felt like we have a large family. It never feels too crowded to me…it rarely even seems too loud (except perhaps when they are playing soccer in the house)…primarily because my children are not naturally loud people. We have a house full of soccer players and readers, cooks, delightful human beings and hopefully someday…musicians as well.

I have to tell you…my heart is so full of love that I can’t hardly stand it. When we had our first child, a son, I was so convinced that every bit of love that I had within me was spent on him. So, when I found out we were going to have our second…honestly…I was nervous.

We never know the sex of our children ahead of time so my feelings had nothing to do with that…I just believed that I had a limited amount of love to give out and it was all spent on my first born. It wasn’t until our eldest daughter was born two and a half years after our son that I realized that the spigot hadn’t even been turned up yet.

We have birthed all of our children at home for reasons I will discuss at a later time…but as my wife was laboring in our bedroom I was unsure of how I felt about this baby coming. I had no such doubts during the first birthing process. Of course I had some nervousness about having our first baby at home…but I never questioned my feelings for that baby.

I honestly did not know until she was born how I was going to feel. Well, the birth was slightly challenging because of some fear issues happening in other areas that I am not going to share right now…but as soon as those things were “dealt with” at that time, our daughter came out with a full force of energy. She was so ready to be born at that point.

Anyhow…as soon as she came “flying” through the birth canal and she was physically present there. Every ounce of doubt I had was instantaneously gone. The spigot of love from my heart was turned up higher than I ever could have imagined and it was at that point that I knew that the type of love I was dealing with was  coming from an unending supply.

I never doubted the power of love again and with the birth of each of our children (at home of course) my capacity to love only grew more and more.

So…one of the first things that I would share with the entire world if I could is the incredible love I learned as a result of having all seven of my children. There is not a day that goes by that I am not eternally thankful for them and for the capacity within me to love that is amazingly large.

I figured it out one day when I was thinking about my seven children…it took seven for me to finally realize what it means to love and live loved. I don’t know if you have found that…but if you haven’t…please hang out with me here and I will continue to show you the things I have learned.

There are so many things I really would like and need to share…but I believe I should leave those things for another time. I don’t want to convolute the primary issue of loving and being loved. I believe there is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, more important than learning these two sides of love in life. For me it took having seven children to get this far.

How much further I have to go is yet to be seen. I know this one thing to be true though…I have learned things in these areas that have become imbedded within my very being that others look at me in bewilderment and wonder if I am deluded or making this stuff up. I am not making this stuff up…the ability to truly live a life of love is well beyond any imagination I could possibly have.

We will continue this again…until then…

“Live the Adventure!”

I would love to hear from you…please leave a comment or any questions below…

A Father’s Affection…Why You Need IT for Your BUSINESS and Your LIFE!

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

I was sitting with my youngest son this morning not able to do much work because he wanted to be held…so what did I do instead? I held him and enjoyed the amazing connection that I have with him!

You see…I absolutely adore my children! I have seven and I truly believe they are the most beautiful people on this earth!

As I was holding him I was thinking about the incredible freedom that he lives under. I don’t mean freedom from basic rules and guidelines that keep him safe and so forth…but what I am talking about is the freedom from fear, the freedom from self-doubt and the freedom from a sense of utter loneliness that so many people actually feel and realize when they are being honest with themselves.

My son knows my affection and lives in it. He knows what it means to “live loved.”  That is his natural mode of existence. Now of course…he is loved intensely by all of us but there is something about a Father’s love that is just a bit different. It has a different sort of impact on us and it has the power, more than anything else in this universe, to free us from the abiding fear that is ever present in our surroundings. We all know it and feel it at times of uncertainty and loneliness…it is simply a proven fact.

A Father’s affection will create a barrier around the recipient that enables that person to literally soar like an eagle…no fear of tomorrow…hardly even a thought about what tomorrow may or may not bring. Someone who lives in their Father’s affection can literally conquer any obstacle and soar to any height because there is always safety in being loved by a Father!

Don’t get me wrong…I am certainly not discounting the love of a Mother or siblings or spouses or friends or anything else. We all need to feel the love of many people in our lives. The love of a Mother extends compassion to and through us…exceedingly important and so much more…things that a Father usually does not provide. However, for the most part, a Mother’s love does not have the freeing power that  a Father’s love has.

That is why I say for your Business and your Life you need to live in a Father’s affection. There is no more powerful way to become truly FREE to live out life to its fullest extent. Our inability to embrace life and fully engage in life has a great deal to do with how safe we feel and how ultimately we “live loved.” A Father’s love makes us feel safe enough to explore, to attempt, to jump, to journey and grow in areas that we are not familiar with.

Life is constantly throwing hinderances in our way but our natural ability to overcome these have a great deal to do with the Freedom we feel when we are “living loved” in a Father’s affection. The good news is…even if your father was a complete idiot (hopefully not your own) a Father’s love can be experienced through a surrogate or even better through the person of God the Father.

Quite simply though…if you are finding road block after road block in your ability to engage fully as an entrepreneur or simply as a human being, take a step back and consider these things. My youngest son does amazing feats as an 18 month old boy. He does not know the “feeling” of fear. He is not hindered by self-doubt or fear or loneliness. He is completely free to look at the moment he has in front of him and fully engage in it. All that he is can be focused on what is happening right here and now because he has no outside worries of any kind. This is far from true of many 18 month old children. It is in fact more of a rarity…especially these days. By 18 months those feelings of fear and of being unsure of oneself have begun to become cemented in people’s personalities.

I personally also know of this life-changing power of feeling a Father’s affection. The freedom I now experience in life as a 46 year old man is far more than I can ever remember in my years growing up and as a young adult. I came to this realization as I was struggling through my twenties and thirties. I was daring and willing to take risks because I had it as a part of my make-up. However, I was not free of fear and so everything that I did was hampered in one way or another.

It was coming to the understanding that I am truly loved and that I really can live in the Father’s Affection (actually not just an understanding but an emotional reality as well) that freed me to begin to soar and learn how to truly appreciate this life and live it as the adventure it was intended to be. Oh I know that a lot of people live in a heightened state because they have learned how to substitute what I am talking about for strictly positive energy…but it truly is not the same. I know of both. Living in a heightened positive state is very important and powerful…but “living loved” is beyond any ability to convey in mere words.

Take a positively minded and charged individual who understands the laws of reciprocity and the law of attraction and how to positively interact with his/her fellow human beings and let them get a hold of this idea that I am talking about…and even their lives are catapulted to a different level of freedom that is really inconceivable any other way.

I am not asking anyone to become religious (religion simply destroys what I am talking about…it brings bondage and slavery) or to do anything at all other than to consider and meditate on what I am saying. If it rings true for you…I would be so happy to hear about it. If it doesn’t…I completely respect that as well and would love to communicate further with you on these things if you are so inclined.

However, it has been my experience in consulting with thousands of people that the Freedom that a person can truly feel when they feel the affection of a Father is truly unique. Entrepreneurs can soar and life can be experienced in a degree that is nearly inconceivable any other way. I hope  you continue to join me on this “adventure we call life.” If you want to know more about how life can truly be lived in a degree that is beyond you wildest hopes and expectations…subscribe to our newsletter by filling in the boxes on the right…“Living Beyond the Edge…of Normal.”

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